> > >>>
> > >>> The Internal Revenue Service decides to audit
> > >>> Ralph, and summons him to an appointment with the toughest
> > >>> auditor in the office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when
> > >>> Ralph shows up with his attorney.
> > >>> The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an
> > >>> extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you
> > >>> explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the
> > >>> IRS finds that believable."
> > >>>
> > >>> "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How
> > >>> about a demonstration?"
> > >>>
> > >>> The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay.
> > >>> Go ahead."
> > >>>
> > >>> Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that
> > >>> I can bite my own eye."
> > >>>
> > >>> The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way!
> > >>> It's a bet."
> > >>>
> > >>> Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
> > >>>
> > >>> The auditor's jaw drops.
> > >>>
> > >>> Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand
> > >>> dollars that I can bite my other eye."
> > >>>
> > >>> The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he
> > >>> takes the bet.
> > >>>
> > >>> Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
> > >>>
> > >>> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered
> > >>> and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He
> > >>> starts to get nervous.
> > >>>
> > >>> "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll
> > >>> bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of
> > >>> your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and
> > >>> never get a drop anywhere in between."
> > >>>
> > >>> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
> > >>> carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that
> > >>> stunt, so he agrees again.
> > >>>
> > >>> Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
> > >>> although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the

> > >>> wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over
> > >>> the auditor's desk.
> > >>>
> > >>> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned
> > >>> a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and
> > >>> puts his head in his hands.
> > >>>
> > >>> "Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really,"
> > >>> says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been
> > >>> summoned for an audit, he bet me $20,000 that he could come in
> > >>> here and piss all over your desk -- and that you'd be happy
> > >>> about it!"

I'll have to try that!